


leia

by plantyourtreeswithme



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Pre-Canon, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-19 05:48:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22006141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantyourtreeswithme/pseuds/plantyourtreeswithme
Summary: Bits and pieces. That's all she has left.
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo
Kudos: 13





	leia

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker."

A son.

Her boy, her son, born with brown hair and dark eyes, and he looks every bit his father -

He clings to her, begs in a soft little voice, says, "Mama, don't," and she knows what he means - _don't go, stay with me, please_ \- and she remembers Bail, and the way he seemed to glow. She remembers his _warmth_ , his _smile_ , his _pride_. His arms on her shoulders, as she stood before his tall, imposing figure and said, "How will I do this?" and listened as he said, "You will find your way."

She sees Obi-Wan in him: as she watches him play with the other children of the Rebellion, watches from on high. He is gentle and kind, and he loves all life, and he loves their home above all else.

She goes to him in the gardens and says, "Do you see Daddy's ship in the sky?" and his eyes go up and up and up, as he gazes at the setting sun. She thinks of Alderaan, and how it only had one sun, too; and she thinks of Luke, and Tatooine, and how she would like to visit his homeworld someday.

Han lopes out of the Falcon and scoops Ben up into his arms, spinning round and round and loving their son just as fiercely as he loves her, and setting Ben down and kissing Leia sweetly, saying, "Hi, sweetheart," and she cannot think what she has possibly done to deserve such happiness.

Her brother will come home soon - back from his search for any remaining followers of the Sith way, into every far-reaching corner of their galaxy. He promised he would train her properly when he got back. She isn't sure if he will still want to, if they will have time...

She travelled far as a young Senator, just as Luke travels now. Her mother - her queen, her _mother_ , resplendent in all her beauty - had been reluctant to let her go, but her father had hushed her worries away, assured her that Leia would be fine on her own. "She's an adult now," he would always say at dinner, during the few weeks leading up to the night she left for Coruscant; "she isn't a little princess anymore."

"She is still _our_ princess," Breha replied each time. "She is our daughter."

"She is grown..."

Leia wonders if she will have to let Ben go someday, too.

* * *

She remembers her first sip of emerald wine, in the safety of her snowy palace, as Han pours her a glass of his favorite nikta and says, "Luke will take care of him."

"Luke's the one I'm worried about," she says.

They go and visit Ben at the encampment; they walk amongst the other Younglings and look for their son, their own, their flesh and blood.

They hold him, and they are glad, and Leia sees the light shining in her son's face.

Not even a month passes before they receive the news.

 _"I've failed you,"_ Luke says over the distorted, buzzing hologram, and she is dizzy, the world spinning around her - and Han is there, catching her as Luke is flung away and the hologram shuts off, and she is screaming, and she has lost her son just as she lost her birth-father, and her brother is gone from her, and her son, her only son, her first-born, _her son_ -

"I'm leaving," Han says, days later. He is crying, and he is looking at her.

It is snowing. It never snows on Chandrila.

"I love you," her husband tells her. "I still love you. I just - I can't, I - I _can't_ -"

Her ring is glittering in the moonlight. She says nothing.

"I love you," he says again.

"I know," she does not say.

She lets him go.

She remembers the feeling that hit her, resonated deep in her chest, when Anakin died. She remembers that pain, and how it threatened to kill her, to break her spirit - how the loss of a man she'd never met had nearly cost her everything.

That pain was nothing; is dwarfed in the shadow of this new loss, swallowing her whole.

* * *

She reaches for Ben, in her last moments.

She reaches for her son.

She calls to him, speaks his name, is lost.

She tells him how sorry she is.

She falls into shadow; lets the Force take her, cling to her skirts as her son once did as a young boy.

**Author's Note:**

> Please consider leaving me a comment if you enjoyed this piece!! It truly inspires me to write more :)


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